Black or White

I must admit that it is really a tricky question, though not entirely a sticky situation when I have to decide between black or white. This black or white mind set has truly limit us more than we notice. If it's not a yes, then it's a no. If it's not good, then it is bad. If it's not black, it is not white. Such clear lines set them apart-- there is no in between, there is no gray. It's an absoluteness, with no other options. Can you imagine a world where we can only choose between black or white, or yes or no? If you don't love him, then you must hate him. If you are not rich, then you must be poor. If you are not this, then you must be that-- enough of this, this limiting mindset. Why can't we see the gray areas in between?

And now I'm torn between a yet black and white question of "why this is or is not so". Actually, it's my assignment question. Now, that's what I called a sticky situation.

Or I'm just procrastinating.


Edit: Still stuck with the assignment question, however, not without a new development
Just to make clear, the assignment question was whether the theory of 'structure follows strategy' can be used as an effective strategy, and thus this is where the 'why this is, or is not so' came up.

And I just noticed that, sure, structure must follow strategy, but strategy can not be created without existing structure. Basically, the question is not just a black and white question, but it is also a chicken and egg question.

You know, the chicken and egg question; "Which one come first? Egg or Chicken?" Without chicken, there can not be egg, but without egg there can not be chicken.

What a confusing world we live in.

As for me, what a confusing assignment question I got.

Maybe, Possibly

images by Denis Collete @ Flickr

If everything happens for a reason, then there must be a reason why we are breathing right now, living our lives. Have you found your purpose in life? Or are you lost like a dust in the wind?

Maybe there was a reason after all, that this certain book come into my hands. Nathalia Sunaidi has successfully provoking her readers to think of who they really are, who they were, in their past lives, with her controversial book, "Journey to My Past Lives".

Some people believe in reincarnation, some don't. Some wanted to believe, but logic doesn't allow them. Some people are like me, I do-- I want to believe in reincarnation, but my religion contradicts that, or so according to my understanding.

But reading this book, it's taking my understanding of reincarnation to a whole new level. Everything happens for a reason. A fortune or a misfortune you find in this life might be caused by something you have done in your past lives. Isn't it a little bit unfair? How can someone be rewarded or punished by something he/she doesn't even remember?

But the souls remember, they do remember. Have you ever meet someone and felt you already knew them since a long time ago? Maybe you did meet them, in your past lives. Have you meet your soulmate in this life? Could it be that you have been together for several different lives?
Have you ever thought why are you friends with your friends? Why are you a daughter or a son to your parents? Could it be you chose them by yourself, because they played a significant role in your past lives before?

And maybe, just maybe, there is a lesson in this life you failed to learn in your past lives before, and it's re-occuring in your current life, and will always be in your future life until you are able to figure out what the lesson is about. It could be about forgiving, about understanding, about caring, or anything. The clues are around you, you just have to start noticing.

I had a hearing problem, my left ear couldn't hear as good as my right. I had to hear twice carefully than before. Or maybe it's a clue for me to listen more. I've gotten much more quiet than I was before. I kinda like it, because that way, I can listen more.

"You're given one mouth and two ears because listening is more difficult than talking"

Eternal Rest

"Vi, the rev passed away?"

It was tuesday evening when I received such message from hani. I was practically in agape. 'No, it couldn't be', I thought as I type the rev's name in google, 'it must be another cheap rumor'. But the first result of the search was heart breaking. Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan is found dead in his house due to natural causes. It was true after all, The Rev is no longer in this world.

I was in total shock. Of course, like every other fans of his, I didn't want to believe that he's gone. He was so young, so talented, and he had such a compromising future. He passed away, leaving his wife, his Avenged Sevenfold brothers, and loyal fans. He was one of the best drummers, I believe Avenged Sevenfold will never be the same without him around.

I didn't remember how I become to like The Rev. The only thing I remember is I really, really like him that I named my last laptop with his name (Jimmy). When I first listen their music, I adored Zacky, and slowly I become more interested in The Rev than the mentioned guitarist. Many people love The Rev because they were inspired by the way he played the drums, and drummers looked up to him their role model. Even I myself is not a drummer, I can understand why he is an inspiration to other drummers. Not only he is a great drummer, he is a great song writer too. I especially adore the song 'A Little Piece of Heaven', which he wrote and took vocal in.



I know we should be happy now that he is in a better place, but then why am I so sad? I wish I had met him face to face before. I'm grateful though that I've been to their concert. Now I just can wish that he'll find peace in his little piece of heaven. Goodbye Jimmy, you will be missed. You will be alive as long as your music is heard.

My (kind of) Holiday

Okay, remember about my plan for going to de-clutter my life? I'd say, the heck with it. I'm going to de-clutter my life with no planning. I'll just go with the flow. Now, that sounds like a good plan.

So, what I ACTUALLY do on my holiday is this: downloading e-books and read them like crazy. Basically, I download anything that catches my interest; from cut your hair at home like pro, to mastering photoshop CS4 kind of book. Random, I know, but one can't have enough craving for knowledge, can one? So I learned a new coloring technique from one of the e-books, and decided to try it. Again, it is only a work in progress (WIP) it looks pretty much..crappy. Oh, maybe it's just the anatomy. Please ignore the anatomy. Pretty please? There we go;


Just for information, in case someone wondered who's this creepy-white-haired-but-tanned-man-wearing-a-very-disturbing-unmatched-red-robe-and-blue-skirt-wait-what-skirt-holy-crap, he is Thief King Bakura, from Yu-Gi-Oh, and he is supposed to be sexy, which I clearly fail to portray in the picture. But whatever. Who cares?

Another activity I've been doing is watching movies. Oh yes movies, what else is better than sitting in a couch watching a good movie with a popcorn? I've been watching a series called The Big Bang Theory, and it is a very entertaining series regarding every day life of genius scientists. Sounds boring? You just gotta watch it for yourself to understand. On another note, the most anticipated movie of the year is out: AVATAR. I watched it, and it's beyond words. I won't go into any spoiler but it is worth it to watch it in cinema.

And I'll just stop here before I'll go talking about year end sale. It's a YEAR END SALE! can we hear a YES coming knocking on the door? But in my sadly turn of unfortunate events, I need to pay for the college fees, so....bye bye year end sale. /sob.

Of Plans and Changes

Finally, I finished my exams! The exams were okay --- I guess, but I won't be talking about exams. I've been hooked to The Sims 3 World Adventures lately, but again, I won't be talking about The Sims 3 ...yet.

This holiday I didn't come back to my country, instead I had plans I've been planning to do for this holiday. I changed my mind a lot, but there was one consistent thing I wanted to do; I want to de-clutter my life.

My whole life was messy, though not as messy as the drama life you've seen in your typical drama show. So now that it's time to put things in order, it's more like de-cluttering in the sense of 'straightening' my path to the path leading to where I want to be. In the last 1 and half year, instead of sitting in the driver seat and take control of my life, I've been sitting in the passenger seat and just ride to whichever way the flow taking me. I change, I know change doesn't always mean bad, but it's not the kind of change I want to have.

Of all the things that changed, the most noticeable is how I spend my time on the internet. I still went online, sure, but I didn't do any stuff I used to do when I went online before. I used to be more productive, damn it. Writing blog, socializing, posting art, chatting, reading online stories, catching up with old friends, et cetera et cetera. Now, what do I do when I go online: yep, you guess it, FACEBOOK.

So back to my plan, I plan to find my goals in my life during this holiday. I didn't do it until today, the second week of my holiday, I run out of things to do and decide to read a book, that's when I found note book from Spiritual-Life Skill course I took last year during my holiday. I completely forgot about that book, so I decided to read that book. Then I found the answer of how to change my life back:

It starts from within myself.

How simple it was. But can I really change my life? In that book, there were little brown papers that have my writing. One of it reads,

" People have ALL they need to act effectively, or to CHANGE "

The moment I read that, I delete all negative thoughts and regrets I had. The 'if only's and 'I wish they's are all discarded. If I want change, I have to start from myself. I will start slowly and gradually, because it is the way to make it long lasting.

Oh, and another note, I found the best remedy to procrastination. JUST writedamnit GO THROUGH IT. Seriously.

You know, I've been very lazy to do a certain task, and I do mean VERY LAZY. But I decide that I can not run forever, and so I forced myself to sit straight and face that certain task. In the end? It wasn't that difficult. It was just difficult to start : )

For closing statement, don't forget that "change will come" ( Coffees for Closers, Fall Out Boy.)