Take me seriously

oh, you find this funny, don't you ?

It's my poisonous disease kicking in,
I needed my medication,
but It got me addicted and now,
I'm drowning in my own piles of aspirins.

the pills, they didn't ease the heartache away
the cuts, they weren't as deep as the cuts in the heart
the voices, they didn't turn the echoes in my head into silence
the alcohols, they didn't show the hallucination I want to see
the cigarettes and the bullets,
they're so going to be my place to come back to.

Use me, abuse me, break me, smother me.
Then you'll say you idolize me, adore me, love me, and
Take me seriously,
And how I hope to God, you really meant it.

Everything, or nothing at all.
It doesn't matter.
Not anymore.
And definitely not you.

I always thought I knew the game that I was playing,
but I'm losing the game.
You're going to be the last one, the last one,
the last time.
The next time I'm going to do this,
I'll make damn sure we're playing my game.